The X Factor Fan Site. rachel hylton x factor finalist, bad lashes x factor finalist, girlband x factor finalist, jls x factor finalist, austin drage x factor finalist , scott bruton x factor finalist, eoghan quigg x factor finalist, diana vickers x factor finalist, alexandra burke x factor finalist, lauara white x factor finalist, danny evans x factor finalist, and new x factor judge cheryl cole, tweedy, dannii minogue, louis walsh, simon cowell.
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America can’t get enough of the Brits. They have loved us since the Pilgrim Fathers first landed there (with the exception of the War of Independence of course). Americans love all things British and the latest export is bound to receive some mixed reactions.
Primani Princess cheryl cole is about to pack up sticks and head off into pioneer country. With the imminent break up of Girls Aloud looming, Simon Cowell wants to take her there and launch her into the American mainstream TV, chat shows and x factor spin offs. We think that will be the best place for her in the graveyard of so called trans Atlantic celebrities, then we won’t have to put up with her in Britain anymore.
As she attempts to joining the American army of anorexic ally thin, bones sticking out celebrity D listers (remember Victoria Bekham’s efforts?), we would suggest an English language translator is hired as no one will understand a word she says.
Fresh from her sweep to victory at Saturdays x factor final Alexandra burke has entered British records as the fastest download in history selling 105,000 mp3s in one day.
She has now eclipsed last year’s x factor winner leona lewis who previously held the record with 85,000 downloads in one day.
Burke family press the button
Years ago I remember it was a fantastic achievement to gain a number 1 single or break a record. Now, it seems anyone with a computer and a mobile phone can decide who tops the charts. I can just imagine Alexandra’s family including her love cheat Dad sat around the BT Home hub frantically downloading the single all day in order to boost sales.
This is some timely good news for alexandra, whose two timing husband stealing fetish hit the headlines yesterday. Especially since she has beaten Leona’s second achievement and also clouded over her kinky sex tape scandals.
Simon Cowell laughs all the way to the bank
It is though, Simon Cowell who will truly be singing Halleluiah. With a large slice of any royalties that the finalists make, he is laughing all the way to the bank, on top of his £30m a year deal with ITV for the factor. This year’s calls raked in over £4 million for the show headed by Cowell’s own Syco TV.
Leona Lewis is yesterday’s old mashed potatoes
Leona Lewis signed a five year deal and has so far earned over £6 million. But even Cowell has given signals he is bored with her and sees a short shelf life. He has vowed to make Alexandra burke a much bigger star than Leona. A source said “He (Cowell) thinks she can be an international star. He thinks she is better than Leona”, signalling a bitter feud is about to break out between the two x factor soul divas.
This is potentially part of another record, because if she hit’s the Christmas number 1 spot, Alexandra burke will be the first artist to have had two number 1’s in the space of a month. The other being the ‘Heroes’ charity single. But at least that was a real single rather than a cyberspace digital download.
Poor Leona. She has had massive success, five times platinum album sales and it looks like Mr. Cowell is about to leave her standing. Perhaps she should record a version of judy garland’s don’t rain on my parade as her next song choice.
Thousands of fans are lining up to be the first to see the x factor live tour which kicks off in February in Aberdeen. Taking in 25 shows across the country.
But promoters are expressing caution that ticket sales may be effected due to this year’s x factor being the most controversial series, laden with allegations of vote rigging, conspiracy by judges to promote their own protégés with the best song choices, and not least, the bitter rumours of sex tapes and drugs.
After one of the most exciting finales of recent years, Alexandra burke was crowned as this year’s winner, only to see her reign already marred by shock newspaper stories of infidelity and husband stealing.
The tickets are priced at £28.50 except northern Ireland where they are £31.50. One disgruntled girl from Belfast, Kylie Minogue (no relation to the squid headed sister of x factor judge Danii Minogue) told us “I spent around £72 on phone calls speed dial voting for Oeghan Quigg. It’s a rip off they are charging us more than the rest of the UK to see him”
I couldn’t agree more with Miss Kylie. £31.50 is a lot of money to see a chubby faced boy with a dead ginger cat on his head and a woman who cries at every opportunity and steals other people’s husbands. If I wanted to see that for free, I could take a walk to our local unemployment office any day of the week, especially on Fridays when they hand out the social fund giro cheques to all the pikeys, for their weekend booze and cigarette supplies.
Candy Warhol
“Forget the uncle … I’m anti celebrity”
Having basked in the glory of her x factor win, Alexandra burke has been exposed as a lying, cheating husband stealer. Not once, but twice!
Today, Maggie West spoke of how the scheming, love rat took her man when they were married and had a baby in the house! Another distraught woman Linda Brooks told how Burke sucked her husband Russell Brooks in and led him away, again ending in a broken marriage home and broken families.
Alexandra Burke x factor winner - Husband Theft #1
Alexandra Burke x factor winner - Husband Theft #2
Low level of family morality
Alexandra has been the toast of the nation since her victory yesterday. But any woman who becomes involved and steals with two married men, and cavorts herself on amateur kinky sex tapes, has serious self-esteem issues and a lack of moral fibre. We question not only her personal, but also her family’s morals. Her own father David broke their family home with an illicit affair, tearing her mother’s heart to pieces. A woman with sense, avoids married men and especially if she has already been bitten and wrecked a marriage before.
Alexandra Burke has low self worth
Thousands of x factor fans have been blitzing chat sites and forums condemning Burke and her penchant for other women’s men. Why should she feel the compelling need to get into a married man’s trousers? Is it her lack of self worth, is it because she was copying her father’s behaviour? The sickening sight of him giving a pre recorded message of support last night calling her his ‘Diamond girl’ infuriated fans when the newspapers hit the news stands this morning.
There are demands for her to be stripped of her title and I can’t blame them given the fact this girl seems to whip her knickers off as fast as Stevie Wonder would clear the room with a flamethrower.
Fans could not help see the irony in alex’s ‘mentor’ Cheryl Tramp Stamp Cole’s own failing relationship, with her husband Ashley Cole cheating on the least talented Girls Aloud member recently. Maybe that was the marvellous connection between Cole and Burke. Cole should guard her husband and his breacdh of marital trust like a hawk, in case alexandra has a hankering to make husband theft an accompanying career.
Hypocritical insults to women everywhere
If I were the seriel adultress Alex I would tone down the ‘evangelistic singing style’, with choirs in the background, singing lyrics of hallelujah and constantly mouthing ‘thank you God’ as it now comes across as having been contrite and thoroughly hypocritical. She insults women world wide by her actions and sheer effrontery. I’m just glad her nerve is not in my tooth.
I know we aren’t all saints and a lot of us have skeletons in our closet and there is always a risk of fame and fortune rattling them for all to hear. But ALEXANDRA BURKE has shown that although a talented singer, this amounts to nothing now that she has shown herself to be a double crossing, lying, mawkish, two timing husband stealer.
Maybe her next single should be a version of Hall and Oates’ classic song ‘Man eater’
Maybe her next single should be a version of Nelly Furtado’ classic song ‘Man eater
Maybe her next single should be a version of Panic! at the disco’ classic remake of the song Man eater
Candy Warhol - dishing it up to those who deserve it.
Coronations are fantastic affairs - three generations have not witnessed a real coronation as our marvellous Queen Elizabeth II has been reigning for 50 years. They are full of drama, elation and wonder.
The nearest the ordinary mortal can come to such a crowning, is through shows like Xfactor where an eventual winner is crowned king or Queen of our hearts and repetitive strain dialling fingers.
This year we salute the winner and what an unbelievable journey it has been.
Alexandra almost had an anxiety attack - it was more emotional and disjointed than the Oscars when Hale Berry almost wet herself pouring her heart out. She cried more when she saw her pictured on her new CD released on Monday. She showed guts, determination and performed like a real professional. Voice breaking mid song into tears, she made me cry again.
I love this girl. The defeated finalists including the two timing diana Vickers swamped the stage in group hugs and a love in, but Alexandra kept singing it out as if God himself had kissed her and given her voice. It was moving, marvellous, magical. She is an inspiration and a role model. She truly deserved the win.
Candy Warhol
“Forget the uncle … I’m anti celebrity”
Well the game is up. Danii Minogue told Alex Burke “Get ready for the red carpets and limos” and I agree with her. Alexandra Burke’s performance, whilst slow and a bit dirgie at the beginning, her performance burst into the most emotional and hair raising version of Silent Night you could imagine.
Beyonce, Leona Lewis and all the other black soul warblers must be quaking in their boots already. Even hard to please Mr. Grumpy Simon Cowell said she was outstanding.
The game must be up if the second song is as good as the first one. HOT NEWS - the live reporter from Alexandra’s fan HQ revealed that she WILL be singing a duet later in the show with beyonce…. So get your earplugs ready because the roof will be shouted down. My prediction is Mariah Scary’s “All I want for Christmas is you”. That will shatter glass. Alexandra Burke is truly a super star.
Creepy ex boyfriend D’andre West’s kinky sex tape has just increased in value.
Alexandra looked fabulous, sounded fabulous, acted fabulous. She is fabulously fabulous.
What is the point of beyonce? She is appearing now on the x factor final live and Dermott ants in the pants O’leary built her up into s near Godlike figure, saying ‘She is singing live’. Well you could tell it was live. (As opposed to the mime britney spears did on the LIVE show with womanizer)
She wore a golden leopard print dress with skin tight black rubber leggings. The sound was truly abyssmal as she sand that dirgy ‘If I was A Boy’ song which has been infuriating me all this past week on the radio. Surrounded by pulsating, guitar wielding escapees from the Mad Max movie, she warbles, howled and oh-oh-oh-wa-woah-woed her way through her performance.
This has to be one of the most talked up, hyped and pointless celebrities in the world. She can’t sing, she resembles one of those chocolate Lindt reindeer (and is about the same size) and her being on the x factor was nothing more than an attempt to boost Alexandra Burke.
We all know that gay men tend to have more emotionally charged outbursts than the non gays. There’s a genetic hysteria gene in there that says turn up the waterworks. Eoghan Quigg, the chirpy potato faced Michelin man from Northern Ireland honoured those rivers of gay tears as he added his own ocean full on tonight’s show as he was booted off.
Despite his earlier chirpy air punching and cries of come on, he was squashed flatter than a pancake as he received his news that he was booted off the show. The false sincerity and fake emotions from surviving contestants JLS and Alexandra Burke but most notably from the judges, led me to feel the only real winners were the show’s producers. Doctor Dermott was there to pour on the false disappointments and lead the nauseating love ins.
Youngest contestant
The problem was, that despite the chirpy charm and the youngest finalist card being played at every opportunity, EUGHAN QUIGG is basically a singing potato with a dead cat on his head. Tonight, his clothes, jewellery and make up were all wrong on so many levels. The famous aerodynamic hairdo he has been wearing was in overdrive tonight ridiculously too big, ridiculously tousled into Christmas tree sized proportions.
Performance not good enough
He has been given the just reward due. The dream of show success is over. The verdict a damming one. His performance just wasn’t good enough and while it’s a shame to see a boy cry his eyes out on live television, how smug did JLSlook, knowing the golden haired one was thrown back to the ranks of the plebs, the wannabes, the vanquished.
No doubt a single and album will be forthcoming, but who remembers George Sampson (BGT winner) ? Flash in the pan like so many others trying to follow their Osmondesque dream of world domination.
Clearly trying to build him up into a Northern Irish Donny Osmond, the promoters picked a song that almost any bad karaoke singer could get away with. At his pre arranged cue and intro, they brought on Bozone singing their own song with gusto. Potato face could only stand and poke his tongue out at them and although comfortable in the middle of them, it was impossible to hear his voice above the cacophony of trumpets.
This was good planning by the promoters to drown him out with one of the best known and liked boy bands in history. Ronan Keating said “He’s amazing and he’s Irish” Well actually, he’s from Northern Ireland and that’s part of the UK - he’s British so cut the Irish swamping issues Ronan.
They were only there because Take That refused to appear on the show because the rubbish Westlife were duetting with JLS.
Candy Warhol blogging live as the extreme manlove between JLS and Westlife swamps the screen
In what can only be described as oozing backstreet hooker trash chic, Beyonce exploded onto the X Factor finale stage shaking her booty for everything it was worth. Fans who may have wanted to see a more demure and elegant Beyonce were sorely disappointed. Nothing worked for her from the cheap tacky shoes through to the zillions of sparkly bits that lunged laser beam like steaks of light everywhere. “I am beyonce and I have come to destroy your planet”.
The hair was wrong, the makeup made her look more like a Bollywood dancing extra and there seemed to be fierce competition in the skin toning down wars, as to who the producers wanted to look more white - her or ALEXANDRA BURKE, who over the past few weeks has become more pale skinned, in some sort of freakish ethnic cleansing exercise. Perhaps inspired by the Michael Jackson influence on the show, these girls are losing their ethnic heritage, faster than the Australians stamped out the Aborigines.
And what is going on with all that vocal shrieking and shouting? The cocktail glass I was sipping almost shattered as beyonce screeched higher and higher up the vocal scale. I’m so pleased I had my earmuffs to keep me warm during our cold spell. They helped to drown out some of the noise during beyonce’s performance. She sounded like a cat being stabbed. Coming to a pantomime near you soon…. She’s behind you!
With only two weeks left before Christmas lands on us and one day until the X Factor grand final, scenes of mayhem have been spotted in toy shops up and down Britain’s high streets, as pushy parents try to secure this season’s must have toy - a special limited edition Eoghan Quigg action doll.
Following other celebrities who have had their images cast into plastic (who could ever forget the hideous Spice Girl dolls), sales of these items are snapped up by pop culture aficionados and kids alike. The only one which was vaguely accurate in recent years, was the Victoria Bekham doll as it was as stick thin and plastic as she is in real life. A cross between an anorexic Barbie and the Sims.
Quigglet has given his endorsement to the doll which we picture here, saying “It looks just like me. Its amaaaaaaazin” although we aren’t sure whether the doll will become a must have carry about article, especially after dark.
Inspired by the panic buying of the Quigg doll, other X Factor celebrities are rushing to have one made in time for Christmas. We understand, the Cheryl Cole doll will have only three items of clothing - a cheap tracksuit and cap, the TV show outfit of inappropriately matched sequins and scary man made fibres, and the little black number which is a short black dress which barely covers her coconut like bush. These outfits were based on her actual wardrobe contents. She only has three outfits. No doubt she’ll be wearing one of them in the awful Girls Aloud party that will be shown on ITV1 tomorrow night. Hopefully Tramp Stamp Cole will be locked in a cupboard minutes before the show starts.
Lilliputian potato faced Quigg has been quiet in the past few days. Maybe Simon Cowell is desperately hoping his protégé can be boosted in the popularity stakes by remaining aloof. We hope he has joined up with the Scientologists and has actually been kidnapped by aliens. That way, we won’t have to see his retarded tongue poking routine again in tomorrow’s final. Remember star gazers, they say the truth is out there.
The Eoghan Quigg doll comes in a choice of two outfits - X Factor Second place and X Factor third place.
X Factor judges Simon Cowell, Luis Walsh and Cheryl Tramp Stamp Cole are intended targets of Scientologists, as the creepy organisation tries to recruit people of celebrity influence into its clutches. I am told Danii Minogue was considered so insignificant, despite the immediate qualification of her more talented alien squid headed sister Kylie, that she is not included on their list.
This could lead to Xfactor finalist being pressured into worshipping the weird concepts Scientologists promote. Famous Scientologists include Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and John Travolta. The My Name is Earl actor is also a Scientologist, but we don’t consider him to be very famous.
Can you imagine an Xfactor of the future, when they would have to sing space related songs “Starman”, “Space Oddity”, “Fly Me To the Moon” and others, wired up to portable electronic machines listening to ridiculous stories about men from the Plantet Zaarg. Of course, it would enable Cheryl Cole to justify the tin foil effect slimming tracksuit she probably has tucked away in the wardrobe. No one could normally be as stick thin emaciated and undernourished as she looks with extreme slimming methods.
The connection with X Factor Scientology is already there. Britney Spears’ dreadful lip synching on the show to the awful ’Womaniser’ song. She recently contacted the Top Gun star dwarf Tom Cruise to learn about Scientology. She is reportedly interested in the science fiction based so called ’religion’ to help her come to terms with her personal difficulties. I think it will take a lot more than being wired up and worshipping alien planet invading overlords to sort that girl’s life out. I think this is the last thing she needs in the weirdness stakes.
Spears told a friend: “I have met Katie (Holmes) a few times, so I called her up and just started asking questions about Scientology. I’m always open to new things.
“Then Tom wanted to talk to me about it, so I did. He was nice and answered all my questions and sent me books.” Cruise has been trying to recruit David and uber stick insect wife Victoria Bekham to learn about Scientology. The cult is accused of using brain washing techniques to snare its members, raking in hundreds of thousands of pounds from their wallets. A definite barren ground there as far as the Beckhams go, as there isn’t much brain power there for washing to begin with.
We can be sure of one thing. These celebrities are so mixed up and off the kooky scale to begin with. The last thing they need is to be watching the skies for signs of space cadets and lizard type creatures with a fat bulbous head, aerodynamic hair and who talk in a strange monotone. That role is already fulfilled by spotty teen Eoghan Quigg.
Your writing sucks! Think you can write better stories? If you’re mad about THE X FACTOR and want to contribute to our blog, we’re always on the look out for creative and talented young writers with something to say. If you have the writing bug, we’d love to hear from you.
