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Cheryl Cole’s marriage has been sailing along like the Titanic and the iceberg is just about to hit hard.
Having dragged herself out of the pikey council estate she came from in Heaton, Newcastle, she managed to claw her way into the Spice Girls imitators Girls Aloud. She managed to snare a pro football player (a must have accessory for girls who escape common roots) black Ashley Cole, who has been reported to have played away with a tabloid hugging slapper earlier this year.
Cole did the Tammy Wynette act to ‘stand by your man’ despite his sticking it in someone else’s goal. They have been apart for increasing amounts of time and this week, a close friend of cheryl cole has said the marriage is coming to an end. “Cheryl wants to concentrate on her TV work and maybe go to America”. She added “She’s thinking of herself in this situation”.
If all accounts are true, then it looks like cheyl cole shall be packing her bags and leaving Ashley. Another mis matched marriage biting the dust. Next time Cheryl, try someone less famous or good looking and you may have more of a chance at marital happiness.
Candy Warhol
“Forget the uncle … I’m anti celebrity”
<img src=” alt=’Cheyrl cole stood by hers and it backfired on her’ class=’alignnone’ />
America can’t get enough of the Brits. They have loved us since the Pilgrim Fathers first landed there (with the exception of the War of Independence of course). Americans love all things British and the latest export is bound to receive some mixed reactions.
Primani Princess cheryl cole is about to pack up sticks and head off into pioneer country. With the imminent break up of Girls Aloud looming, Simon Cowell wants to take her there and launch her into the American mainstream TV, chat shows and x factor spin offs. We think that will be the best place for her in the graveyard of so called trans Atlantic celebrities, then we won’t have to put up with her in Britain anymore.
As she attempts to joining the American army of anorexic ally thin, bones sticking out celebrity D listers (remember Victoria Bekham’s efforts?), we would suggest an English language translator is hired as no one will understand a word she says.
in the public eye
While Cheryl Cole might be the media darling at the moment, the press are known to turn into cold blooded hunters, pouncing on the first sign of any weakness discovered.
Why the press love cheryl cole now
Cheryl Cole has tried to take the place of failed pop star and self important Victoria Beckham since victoria moved to Los Angeles. Milking the common touch among the legion of goss mag reading undead for all its worth, her place in the public eye is assured.
If they did it to boy george, then they will get cheryl cole as well.
Until the popular press turn on her the way they did with Boy George, or that cheap tramp with the massive norks that married the Texan oil billionaire. She will ride the wave for as long as it will take her.
cheryl cole is not hated as much as heather mills, but she also so much younger. give her time.
Cheryl cole famous for her tramp stamp tattoos, is the second most hated woman in the north east of England. The first being the mad money grabbing fantacist Heather Mills. Cheryl is so much younger, that she needs time to catch up. She is picking up steam in the hated department because of her increasingly emaciated skinny appearance, her gravitation towards bling like a pin to a magnet and her inability to speak the slightest amount of grammatically correct English.
cheryl cole didnt start our with all the fame and fortune
Cheryl Cole lived on one of the roughest , pikeyest council estates in Newcastle and found fame and fortune with Girls Aloud, a group of similarly pikey styled girls catapulted via the Pop Stars the rivals programme.
As an x factor judge, cheryl cole has been given a lucky hand this time around, but when she is forced to get rid of someone talented, the hatred will be at its strongest.
cheryl cole has criminal family
Cheryl Cole’s brother Andrew has appeared in court more than 50 times on vandalism and social annoyance charges and anorexic looking Cheryl is no stranger to the courts herself. She was given 120 hours community service recently for punching a black female toilet attendant. No details of what hardships she had to perform have been released. A source said “Cheryl didn’t get her hands dirty - she thought she was a princess and a hot shot important celebrity”.
Its not often I find myself agreeing with the loathsome and reptilian creature that is Germaine Greer. Many of you will know her as a ‘talking head’ that pops up on the ’Grumpy Old Women’ TV show.
She is the Australian accent droning feminist anarchic Marxist, that wrote the book ‘The Female Eunuch’, which was basically a rant against men, seeking to rally other similarly fat ugly females who can’t find husbands to her particular cause.
Asked about women in mainstream television she has commented about our nation’s current favourite of the month Cheryl Cole. Greer said “Cheryl Cole could never be a good female role model. There isn’t enough of her to go round - she’s too thin”.
Girls usually like make up - talking about boys - fluffy little kitten - Lambrini - make and bake sets and oeghan quigg.
But the thought of Greer who is basically a man in an unflattering 1930s floral pattern dress, and Cole spearheading the cause for greater female emancipation is intriguing. Maybe that’s why cheryl daubed herself with such ugly tattoos in an attempt to defeminise herself.
Vogue magazine cover girl Cheryl Cole has been dubbed a style icon of 2008 by some of the gossip magazines in Britain. But most of these gossip magazines are lining up to make cheryl cole their cover girl with her wishes and support or without her support buying paparazzi photo’s instead . If they do want her support, they must follow a strict guideline of not reporting about her boozing nights at the clubs, her anorexic and unhealthy weight, her enhanced boob job, nor may they comment on anything negative that cheryl cole has done to lose ashley on her own.
They are limited to talking about cheryl not wearing her wedding ring, which has been rumoured to be lost, and not worn for that reason alone.
Have some guts to stand up to cheryl cole
We applaud all gossip magazines to dare go up against cheryl cole and her media machine, and print the truth, even if it means hurting cheryl cole’s image as a clean and non drinking party girl, who occasionally has fun with the girls.
Cheryl Cole vs. Bay Garnett - one turbulent Vogue photo shoot
This month cheryl cole appears on the cover of Vogue magazine (UK version, not the prestigious American one) and it was a struggle to also attain an article with inside photo’s in the first place.
Bay Garnett is one of the most respected stylists in the fashion world and cole stormed out of their photo shoot claiming she was being ‘dissed’ (that is disrespected for those of you who don’t speak chav) and ignored. On the other hand, you have feisty cheryl cole, who is known for her explosive temper. While Bay and Cheryl butted heads, over cheryl cole’s supposed sense of style, and the genius styling of Bay Garnett. It appears cheryl won out, because during the photo shoot, cheryl cole was draped in gold material, a particular favourite for classless women who seek to hide their basic, down trodden roots aspiring to grandiose couture. Bay could not have been more against this lack of style that cheryl cole presented with, and forced getting her way. Princess she indeed is. With her attraction to cheap looking, ill fitting outfits, slovenly trakkies, caps and street slut outfits, she is known as the Primani Princess. Primark aspiring to be Armani.
Cheri baby’s fashion spread appears in February 09. Be sure you have your sunglasses ready to reflect the flare from the tacky bling she will inevitably be wearing.
Please feed anorexic and sickly looking cheryl cole
At this time of year we are reminded of the unfortunates, who have so little and that is quite right too. We all need to show compassion. Band Aid showed the way with their record breaking charity singles and concerts and so many thin, malnourished people were helped by Bob Geldof’s campaigns.
Following the wider audience x factor has been reaching, there are calls for Band Aid to come back with another fund raiser for the starving. Are we talking war torn Chad, or Zimbabwe or Ethiopia? No dear readers. This year, it seems the campaign will be targeted towards Cheryl Tramp Stamp Cole, who has left viewers gasping and almost running for the double chocolate muffins, as she appeared week after week visibly thinner. To such a degree that when she turned sideways, it was virtually impossible to see her.
cheryl cole is a bad role image
Only a few years ago when she joined Girls Aloud, Cheryl was a plump and curvy girl. As soon as her low self esteem issues took hold and her determination to snag a footballer player became her main purpose in life, she slimmed and slimmed down to frightening and dangerous proportions, until she is now nothing more than a bag of bones, and being quite tall, it makes her appearance more ghoulish and bedraggled. For a supposed role model to young girls, she is dangerously thin.
What is the message cheryl cole and the girls aloud anorexic bags of bones sending to the children and adults, by advertising kit kat chocolate, but never really eating what they sell.
Is the message to eat this to look like us, or is the message simply saying; hears something you can puke?
body genocide from der furher
Glamour magazines, lad’s mags and fashion photos pressure young girls into losing weight and becoming shadows of the proportions they should naturally be. This is almost body genocide and the jackbooted storm troopers in our pop industry, march ever forward stamping their vision of a utopia filled with uber thin waiflets. Cheryl Cole is der fuhrer in chief with her Biafaran body size and blondening hair.
cole needs help and fast
Last Saturday’s final saw her draped in a medieval cape style frock in a silver fabric. She looked like a tinfoil wrapped turkey twizzler. Cherly Cole is too thin and hopefully, Sir Bob Geldof and Band Aid will be able to come to her rescue quickly. Their original call was “feed the world”. Now its more a case of “Feed the Cole”.
Having basked in the glory of her x factor win, Alexandra burke has been exposed as a lying, cheating husband stealer. Not once, but twice!
Today, Maggie West spoke of how the scheming, love rat took her man when they were married and had a baby in the house! Another distraught woman Linda Brooks told how Burke sucked her husband Russell Brooks in and led him away, again ending in a broken marriage home and broken families.
Alexandra Burke x factor winner - Husband Theft #1
Alexandra Burke x factor winner - Husband Theft #2
Low level of family morality
Alexandra has been the toast of the nation since her victory yesterday. But any woman who becomes involved and steals with two married men, and cavorts herself on amateur kinky sex tapes, has serious self-esteem issues and a lack of moral fibre. We question not only her personal, but also her family’s morals. Her own father David broke their family home with an illicit affair, tearing her mother’s heart to pieces. A woman with sense, avoids married men and especially if she has already been bitten and wrecked a marriage before.
Alexandra Burke has low self worth
Thousands of x factor fans have been blitzing chat sites and forums condemning Burke and her penchant for other women’s men. Why should she feel the compelling need to get into a married man’s trousers? Is it her lack of self worth, is it because she was copying her father’s behaviour? The sickening sight of him giving a pre recorded message of support last night calling her his ‘Diamond girl’ infuriated fans when the newspapers hit the news stands this morning.
There are demands for her to be stripped of her title and I can’t blame them given the fact this girl seems to whip her knickers off as fast as Stevie Wonder would clear the room with a flamethrower.
Fans could not help see the irony in alex’s ‘mentor’ Cheryl Tramp Stamp Cole’s own failing relationship, with her husband Ashley Cole cheating on the least talented Girls Aloud member recently. Maybe that was the marvellous connection between Cole and Burke. Cole should guard her husband and his breacdh of marital trust like a hawk, in case alexandra has a hankering to make husband theft an accompanying career.
Hypocritical insults to women everywhere
If I were the seriel adultress Alex I would tone down the ‘evangelistic singing style’, with choirs in the background, singing lyrics of hallelujah and constantly mouthing ‘thank you God’ as it now comes across as having been contrite and thoroughly hypocritical. She insults women world wide by her actions and sheer effrontery. I’m just glad her nerve is not in my tooth.
I know we aren’t all saints and a lot of us have skeletons in our closet and there is always a risk of fame and fortune rattling them for all to hear. But ALEXANDRA BURKE has shown that although a talented singer, this amounts to nothing now that she has shown herself to be a double crossing, lying, mawkish, two timing husband stealer.
Maybe her next single should be a version of Hall and Oates’ classic song ‘Man eater’
Maybe her next single should be a version of Nelly Furtado’ classic song ‘Man eater
Maybe her next single should be a version of Panic! at the disco’ classic remake of the song Man eater
Candy Warhol - dishing it up to those who deserve it.
What is the point of beyonce? She is appearing now on the x factor final live and Dermott ants in the pants O’leary built her up into s near Godlike figure, saying ‘She is singing live’. Well you could tell it was live. (As opposed to the mime britney spears did on the LIVE show with womanizer)
She wore a golden leopard print dress with skin tight black rubber leggings. The sound was truly abyssmal as she sand that dirgy ‘If I was A Boy’ song which has been infuriating me all this past week on the radio. Surrounded by pulsating, guitar wielding escapees from the Mad Max movie, she warbles, howled and oh-oh-oh-wa-woah-woed her way through her performance.
This has to be one of the most talked up, hyped and pointless celebrities in the world. She can’t sing, she resembles one of those chocolate Lindt reindeer (and is about the same size) and her being on the x factor was nothing more than an attempt to boost Alexandra Burke.
How can this not be made fun of more? How can everyone in the press not attack cheryl cole and her misuse of english, her disgusting tramp stamp and other ill placed tattoo’s, and her inability to speak proper english?
sample of cheryl cole on x factor final tonight:
Cheryl tramp stamp cole excelled with the fake sincerity and modesty telling the boys “yer a gate bunsh of leds and I’m proud of yer” - elocution lessons would definitely help her, especially on live television.
Cheryl Cole has threatened legal action against Heat magazine over its cover story this week.
Cole’s legal representatives have written to Heat editor Julian Lindley today claiming allegations carried in the article, headlined “Cheryl’s Fury”, about a Vogue photoshoot, were untrue.
The X Factor judge’s complaint claims that Heat, published by Bauer Consumer Media, took no steps to verify the article with her representatives or Vogue prior to publication.
“If you had put the allegation to Vogue before publication, you would have been told that it was false,” the letter, seen by MediaGuardian.co.uk, stated.
“In the circumstances, it is inferred that your dominant motivation was to publish a sensational front page story in order to sell the magazine without any concern about whether it was true.”
MediaGuardian.co.uk understands that Cole has threatened to pursue a claim of libel against Bauer and seek damages for defamation if the company does not meet demands for a full apology and retraction to be printed in Heat and payment of legal costs.
Cole’s legal representative David Price, of London law firm David Price Solicitors & Advocates, confirmed the letter had been issued, but declined to comment further.
A spokesman for Cole declined to comment. A spokeswoman for Bauer also declined to comment.
If endorsement for products on television is valued, then concealer make up sales are set to go through the roof.
Cosmetic endorsements:
Thank God for Rimmel’s Hide the Blemish stick and industrial strength foundation and concealer cream. It managed to cover up those awful tamp stamp tattoos she is desperate to hide. It was such a marvellous job, I thought she almost looked human tonight. I say almost….
Fashion endorsements:
Cheryl Tramp Stamp Cole outdid herself tonight. Our favourite style icon week after week has not disappointed us with her choices from Primark and Matalan in her own blend of thrown together white trash categorisation. Yes this woman is the epitome of dressing cheap on the cheap. Bad hair, bad makeup and drapey scary fabrics giving her that just dragged through the hedge look.
I’m surprised she was able to sit comfortably in this weeks fashion offering. Badly designed, badly fitting and by no means, badly worn. A giant turkey tinfoil affair down to her ankles. Thank God it served one purpose.
Suggestions:
The best suggestion for cheryl cole is to convert to Islam immediately and she could wear one of those black coveralls and a Burkha mask. That way, we wouldn’t have to look at anymore of her Twiglet shaped body, pin thin legs and refugee camp chic any longer. Its not working for you cheryl. Give up the fight now and embrace the Hijab with some degree of dignity.
cheryl cole cover photo shoot before the islamic transformation
cheryl cole photoshoot after the islamic transformation
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